Yuck.

I'm pretty much disgusted with myself. Today went poorly to say the least. Well, I was doing fine up until just recently with I stuffed my face full of carbs...not even going to say the name of the food. No, I should feel my shame, maybe it will help me eat less. Pasta. Yep, the "p" word. Ugh just shoot me, I was doing so well today, I didn't have time to work out today so that makes matters even worse. I want to purge but I have to get this dumb ass report done, part of the reason I went down to get food anyways. I guess it's a good sign that I'm feeling bad though, the guilt is a realization of what I want and by doing what I just did it's going to hinder me from getting there. I must keep the vision of me in a very tiny bikini on vacation with the boy. I'm done giving myself breaks. I am going to have to suffer for something that is going to make me feel that good, suffer for the abundance of clothes I will be able to wear. Maybe after my first class I'll work out before he comes and visits. It's a good idea, work off my screw up tonight. I'm shaking knowing I just ate that...maybe I will purge. Dunno, it's been a while. Now to publish my shame!

Today's eats:
-1/2 orange
-1/2 piece of toast with PB
-1/2 apple
-1 cup of pasta w/ marinara sauce *sigh* should have stopped at the apple.