Monday, January 23, 2012

Gonna do it.

Yipee! Finished a wonderful workout! This is my last start over, after working out it made me realize how much I really wanted this. A sexy, gorgeous body. I saw this girl with a partial six-pack and a belly button ring. People like her are my motivation. So I'm going to keep doing this. I burned almost 500 calories on the elliptical and only ate about 400 so far today. So I'm running on a deficit, which is good. I just have to resist temptation at dinner, I kind of feel like having miso and a salad or something. Even though I already had miso and it has a shit ton of sodium in it, but so few calories! what to do what to do.
I was doing sit ups back in my dorm and I had that awful thought when you just start again, "Fuck, I can never do this, I am okay with my weight I guess, I'll just put it off". But in reality, how long will I put it off? How much more weight will I gain? I just have to remember that feeling of putting my zeros on, and them not fitting anymore, so I have to suck in to even get them on, I have tons of muffin top. One day, I wore them all day, and they were so tight they cut into my hip, I still have a really tiny scar from that day. So enough of this! It's also sooo much easier to work out when you have skinnier people in front of you. :) :)

-Stay beautiful lovelies <3 ^^

Sunday, January 22, 2012

I miss you lovelies! :D

This is my focus. I will do this and I can. I just need more self-control, I have it, I just need to implement it again. I don't give a fuck if I am always tired or I get sick again. I'm going to make this happen, and my want and obsession will give me the energy to carry one. Fuck the bitches in my life that think I can't do it or have ever made fun of me. And the exes of my current bf you are going down, he will forget you when he he sees me, after I shed all this fucking fat. This stuff that isn't me, this fat, this parasite. And fuck him, I'll show him, I will make him want me. If I have to slap him and say, "Here! Look, this is your girlfriend. See my hot body? I'm like a fucking blonde Megan Fox. Except I'm here straddling you. Want me now?"
This is gonna happen Ladies. I can do this if I am hyper aware, and I will, because I want to be hyper aware, I want this to become the focal point of my life again. Because then I don't slip up, my success makes me a million times more happy, and they make me want to get up and do it again and try harder.
I want to get to....129 by Valentine's the least.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Slowly but surely.

Making progress, back down to 136.8. Going to hit the gym more this week. I just get so tired, any advice? Mila Kunis is wonderful thinspo, by the way. I can't wait to be skinny!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Pink Strip.

I got a pink highlight in my hair today, and bleached it. I don't see what the hell is so complicated in showing the fucking hairdresser a pic of a girl with her hair completely bleached and then I say "I want that hair". Then the hairdresser gives me fucking bleached highlights...yeah it's lighter than it was but not how I wanted
On top of all this, I don't know about him. Sometimes I feel like it would be stronger of me, and better for me if I just went my own way.
I've also been cutting down on the eating, yay. :)I'll repost my progress in the sidebar and get a starting weight when I get back to school.

Stay strong lovelies <3

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


I'm bleaching my hair tomorrow and getting my eyebrows done...and I'm getting a pink strip in it. Baby pink, not whore pink. I really think this will give me bonus motivation to lose. :) I'm happy, its something I have always wanted to try and I can't wait. :)Here goes nothing!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

on tumblr now!

Hey guys, started a bit of a thinspo/me tumblr page. :) I'm aiming for lots of tiny girls and clothes I would like to wear with some star wars and nerdy things that I am in to.

Stay Strong! xx


I need....
Fake eyelashes
Eyelash glue
Measuring tape
teeth whitening
to bleach my hair
Fake nails
nail glue
Eyebrows waxed